Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Ying Yang Fried Chicken

Ying Yang Twins Fried Chicken Recipe Gangster Kitchen

You want a tasty ass recipe for fried up chicken that'll make you say, "Yeyeah!"? (yup!) Then try this shit out! (ha-haa!) cuz it's tasty (tasty), and it's fresh (fresh), and it only takes 45 minutes to make cuz we got some shit ta do today! (uh-huh!)

Monday, September 28, 2015

So You're Going To Potty Train Your Child In 3 Days...

That quote is from Adam Sandler in the movie Billy Madison and I want you to file it away in your mom brain and reference to it often, because potty training is one of the most difficult skills you're going to have to teach your child.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

The Stay-At-Home Mom DIet

The stay at home mom diet by Mommy Cusses

Yesterday you pinned all of the things to your "Thinspiration" board and went to bed early (because getting enough sleep is crucial weight loss!). You're freaking pumped. You're gonna kick that back fat and tummy pooch to the curb.

Chug a glass of cold water because it starts your metabolism AND your body will burn extra calories warming up the temperature of the water. It's Science!

Sip on a glass of hot water with lemon in it from your cutest mug or a hip mason jar cup. Just because you're on your way to losing weight doesn't mean you can't do it in style. Now Instagram a pic of you holding your cup.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Hot Mess Mom Approved DIY Jet Pack

Hot mess mom approved DIY Jetpack by Mommy Cusses

Recently I decided to tackle a pin that had been on my kid board for way too long, a DIY Jet Pack. I quickly browsed the directions and realized I had (mostly) everything I needed but I decided to make some modifications. Here's how I did it.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Preparedness Drills For Future Parents

Funny preparedness drills for future parents by Mommy Cusses

So you're thinking about becoming the proud new owner of a baby, but you're just not sure if you're ready for this parenting gig? I've got just the thing for you. Below I will be sharing with you a list of drills that will prepare you for Operation Tiny Person.

1. Go to your local grocery store with a friend and pick up two of the largest sacks of potatoes you can find. Ask your friend to stare at random strangers, occasionally blurting out random words. Also tell them to smack anything you pick up out of your hands.

2. Buy a life-sized baby doll. Fill the doll's head with lead and then attach the head back onto the body with a slinky. Practice picking it up, setting it down, and walking around with it one-handed.

3. Watch a TV show but have a friend throw something, scream in your ear, or engage in borderline life threatening behavior every 2-5 minutes.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Mommy Makeup Tutorial

The Most Hilariously Terrible Mommy Makeup Tutorial of All Times by Mommy Cusses

Hey ladies! Are you a tired mom who doesn't have a lot of time in the morning to put on makeup? I feel you. That's why I've come up with this super simple mommy makeup tutorial.

First thing's first. Let's take off all our makeup from yesterday because you passed out with it on and don't have time to shower today. I recommend using baby wipes. Mmm, that's fresh.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Things That Happen When You Turn 30

Things That Happen When You Turn 30 Mommy Cusses

My birthday is coming up and it's not just any birthday, it's my 30th. In contemplating my advanced age, I decided to make a list of things I'll be saying goodbye to in my thirties, but alas, there are some things I'm saying hello to, too.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Inspirational Posters From Moms

Hilariously (un)motivational posters for moms by Mommy Cusses

About a month ago I stumbled across these hilarious inspirational posters that had typical "mom quotes" on them, you can view the original post here.  But today I took it upon myself to continue the series.  Below are more funny inspirational posters with things your mom says.  Enjoy!