Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Facebook Emojis I Wish Existed

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I know, I know. But emojis were created so that we can say things without teeechnically saying things. Still, sometimes you see posts on social media that you just don't know how to respond to or deserve something besides a thumbs up.

Well, gather 'round, boys and girls *slams fist on table* because as usual, I have put something amazingly useless together for your entertainment: Facebook Emojis I Wish Existed.


Grammar Nazi













If you're not a fan of Nazis, you could replace this with a picture of your English teacher sobbing over every it, its, it's, there, they're, and their you're fucking up.

Golden Sympathy Star












You done good, sweetie, you done good. 

#Blessed













For the person who loves to blast their absolutely perfect and #Blessed lives on social media while I'm over here like, "I rolled out of bed and am eating my feelings today."

Bless Your Heart













"Bless your heart" can have multiple meanings, leaving recipients of this phrase sometimes confused. "Was that a 'bless your heart'? or a 'bless your heart.'" Use this emoji to your passive-aggressive heart's desire.

F*ck Your Diet












Oh, you're doing the new Fruit Rind & Nutsack Gland Bullshit Diet? Awesome, I'll be over here crying my cellulite away and partaking in this delicious slice of bacon covered cake filled with artificially colored mayo. We all know the calories in desserts don't count!

Selfie Tiara













*singing* Theeeere she is, Miss Americaaa, there she is, your ideal, the dream of a million giiiirls. 

Give the selfie queen in your news feed what she really wants.

Congrats On Making A Human With Your Genitals










Here's to you and the fruit of your loin. 

Tune In To Today's Meltdown











Please, continue to shamelessly air out your dirty laundry, I'll just be here watching and eating my popcorn because shit just got real and I'm not missing any of it.

Laughing On The Floor So Violently Fluids Are Coming Out Of Both Ends









Because sometimes you need something to more accurately depict the spontaneous laugh-seizure you just experienced in a room full of strangers.

Bouquet Of Kittens & Puppies 











I'm sorry. I'm so, so ridiculously sorry. Please, take this bouquet of puppies and kittens. Sorry. Jesus.

Bestie Dry Humping











Everything my IDKmyBFFJill posts gets this emoji because that's how much we love each other.

Bottle Of Wine













Deal with all your shitty days the way God intended.

Lady Boner











"You are more beautiful than Cinderella! You smell like pine needles and have a face like sunshine!"


What Emojis would you add to social media?