After reading the rave reviews for this product and downing a few glasses of wine, I finally decided that it was time to drop this wish list item into my shopping cart and make it a reality.
At checkout, I carefully selected my desired options, summoned up every ounce of courage, and clicked ORDER.
Buyer’s remorse quickly set in. What was I doing? Was I ready? Did I truly want this? But as soon as the confirmation e-mail popped up in my inbox, I was ecstatic.
The description of this item states that it takes “nine months” after the purchase date for it to arrive, so I prepared myself for the wait. I checked in on the status messages of my order obsessively: “We have received your order,” “Processing your order,” and then finally, “Preparing your order for shipment.”
Nine months came and went and I was still sans package. After calling Customer Service, I found out that the process is more like 10 months. What. The. Fuck.
Then one morning, I received the text: Your package is out for delivery.