The term co-sleeping is deceiving af. First, there’s the “co,” meaning jointly or mutually. What a crock of shit.
There’s nothing jointly going on besides your kid’s jagged toenails
taking turns slipping down your butt crack. Then there’s “sleeping.” Um,
if by sleeping you mean 2-7 hours of internal screaming to an agonizing
soundtrack of baby farts and your spouse’s snoring, then sure, some
Whether you planned on co-sleeping or gave up the good fight just to
gain another goddamn hour of shut-eye, there are some unspoken
guidelines on how to do this thing properly.